Visit to An Old Age Home

Tossed time and again by the insensitive and merciless tides of life everything seemed sullen and saturating. A constant worry of what the future will unfold, an apprehension whether l will be at the gaining end or will languish at the loser's desk was killing the very desire to live. Last fortnight, specifically was cumbersome and nothing except the five or six periods within my classrooms with young students kept me going.

Both of my kids went abroad to study .Within two years my nest became empty in a happy way. Often, l have heard people commenting that we would wither away alone in lndia since kids who go abroad never ever look back.  Honestly speaking, l never ever feel so. I feel wherever my children are they should be happy, healthy and wealthy. I have complete trust on my upbringing. Here l am reminded of Dr. Kalam.In his autobiography the legendary missile man Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam  had mentioned about an incident that when he had to leave Rameshwaram for higher studies his mother was reluctant to allow him while his father had convinced her saying that he knew that one day Kalam had to go away to grow. He said  that the seagull flies across the sun alone and without a nest. I feel the same. It won't and shouldn't matter to me where my kids live and spend their life and how they decide to take care of me in old age. I am not a selfish person. I don't wish them to nurse and babysit me. All l look forward to is that they should arrange a decent help and good medical service alongwith their timely visits if need be.

Last fortnight, like l mentioned earlier, my  spirits were aghast due to ruthlessness of the world when l got an opportunity to accomplish one of my long seen dreams.I love to write and meet people.  I had always wished to visit three to four specific places to peep into the lives of the inmates there, to know people from different  arenas, which were an orphanage, a mental asylum, a prison and an old age home. I was sitting listless at home when l got an opportunity in the previous week to visit an old age home named  'Baba Bansiwala Old age centre and food bank' in Ladwa Kurukshetra.

It was at around 7 pm in the evening when l had reached outside of that building.It was a huge double or triple storey building. From the parking , the basement of the old age home was visible.  There was a huge hall and a small worship area in one corner.  In hall there were around 34 or 35 cots and small steel almirahs one for each bed. I sat on the one of the cemented benches near the parking with my gaze fixed on the cots. Old inmates were visible from a distance. Somehow the dim lights of the old age home in comparison with the bright street lights over the benches in the parking were presenting a quite dismal picture. My wish to step inside that building was waning. An old couple occupying the adjoining bench asked me if l was there to donate something.  I looked towards them in amazement and told them that it wasn't so. I was just curious about the place. The couple asked me to go inside and pacify my curiosity.  I asked the old lady if she and her husband lived there. They said no their days were fine so far and they lived nearby. It was their habit to walk around and rest there. The old man offered me to join them for dinner. Their offer of hospitality to a complete stranger spoke a lot about lndian value system which extends warm treatment to everyone. The couple guided me towards the entrance of the basement. They assured me it was safe to be there as if they had sensed my inhibitions. I was really having a strange fear. Anyhow,  l moved towards the basement  and the first one to greet me on the way was an old crippled guard . He smiled towards me in an appealing way but l couldn't reciprocate for some unknown reason. When l moved a few steps more a comparatively young female came carrying  fruits in a polythene.  She also greeted me and told me that she was cook there and was going back home. She asked me to relax  and go inside.  She said oldies had seen me and were eagerly waiting for me to get in. I did enter the basement and was welcomed by the manager of that place  who asked me to take blessings first in the temple. I did as l was told. He gave me two apples which l first refused to take and asked him to keep those for older people. 

The manager told me that there was abundance of fruits , eatables and milk for the old people. While being engrossed in talking to him l quickly observed surroundings.  Everything was neat and dust free. In one corner there was a huge  LED,  and two to three sofa sets with centre tables. I was curious to know about the place,  but more than me it seemed that the Manager was eager to tell he showed me pictures of Hermit Bansiwala who had started that service centre for the abandoned parents. I questioned him how many people lived there and about their families.  He told that in all there were 36 people 32 males and 4 females in total.  All lived in the same hall 24/7. At that point of time l observed two females on the two cots kept almost in the centre surrounded by the cots of males. One was polio stricken and walked with a stick. Other one looked very fair and pretty. All old and tired eyes were fixed on me. I enquired the manager about the other two females.  He told me there were rooms upstairs and they were there.  I asked why rest were in the hall and why those two were the privileged.  He told me it wasn't a favor.  All lived inside the  hall under CCTV surveillance as it made easier to take care of them. He said that one of the two ladies who was around 75 plus had fallen and had multiple fractures and her surgery was performed and the other one who was around 64 or 65 was taking care of her. He questioned me if l wanted to meet them. I politely declined and said l will meet the rest who were there. My heart was already falling into pieces to see the sad visages around. When l asked if the two ladies who were there were abandoned by their children. He laughed and told me that it's not always children who are responsible.  He said many of the old people were not willing to adjust well with their families .But mostly children were thankless. He told me that the one who had polio hadn't children and her husband had left her for some better female. While in case of the other one she had lost her three children and husband  in a road accident  and thus ended up there a year back. The manager couldn't control his laughter when l asked him if the relatives of old people came to meet them or if anyone of them got united back with the family. He then told the gory tale of insensitivity of a son and a daughter whose mother was an inmate there. She had fallen extremely sick and authorities had tried to contact both the son and the daughter. They were told to visit their mother who was counting her breaths but none of them had time for her. The callousness of the children touched the sky when they didn't come even for her cremation. My heart was trembling to imagine the plight of the lady who would have yearned so desperately to get a glimpse of the children whom she had brought into this world.

My eyes again fell on the ladies inside the hall.I was perturbed at the plight of the two females  when a very attractive old man with long beard, stout body clad in white kurta pajama approached me. It was apparent from his looks that he must have been an extremely dashing and heart - throb of many in his time. He first interrogated me who l was and what was my motive behind being there. With my to the point answers he might have been satisfied therefore,  he offered to introduce me to a few people. I told him before meeting anyone else l wanted to know about him. He told me that he was living there since last eight years and that his wife had died 20 years back. On being questioned if he was childless he told that he had a daughter who was married. I was extremely perturbed thinking about how could a daughter leave her father like that. He as if  sensed my thoughts and told that he hadn't seen his daughter even once in 20 years. After his wife's demise his daughter was taken away by his maternal uncles and he had got to know through some sources that she was married off. My inner sense told me that there was something fishy and there was more to his story but l abstained from any further queries. From a distance l saw one very tidy old man lying on his bed and struggling to keep his gaze intentionally away from me. I got to know that  he belonged to an extremely well -to- do family, and that his children had taken away all his pelf and property. It seemed  from the way he was looking at me that he abhorred people of my age group. Another old man who was the most talkative since he was speaking with one or the other fellow seemed quite shabby. His white nightwear looked pale and dusty from a distance. I asked the manager who took care of laundry and cleanliness.  He told me there were paid workers. There wasn't dearth of facilities and care. He informed me that many people around secretly helped financially to run the services smoothly there. He asked me if l would like to talk to a few people.  But, something in me was stopping me. My soul was too heavy at that moment.  I questioned him if all were abandoned because of heartlessness of their children. He smiled and said it's not always fault of kids. Some of the parents are also not flexible.  I asked if children ever came to meet their parents.  He said children do come but not their. The manager realizing well that his comment was beyond my comprehension said that people like me come. I asked him if the old people were allowed to watch TV. He said they could for two hours in morning  two in evening  and that too religious channels of his choice. Disappointment and disapproval in my eyes  brought an explanation that if he wouldn't decide those people would fight for their favorite channels .

I threw quick glances in every direction thinking about leaving that place when the manager began to switch off most of the lights. He asked me to either meet a few people hurriedly or be ready to leave. I questioned him why he was switching off the lights . He said his family was waiting to have dinner with him and that he lived with his family at night. He further explained that he lived in a nearby village and that at night the old people took care of eachother. In case of urgency they had a phone with them. I looked again towards the two females who were looking odd one out in that place. I wondered at the ways of the Almighty. In lndian society  a lot of care is done when it's about female safety and sanctity. The ladies who might have maintained one hand distance even from the males of their own family were forced to sleep under the same roof with unknown strangers. Their helplessness began to suffocate me. I felt a strong need to inhale open air . I rushed towards exit and was climbing stairs when l saw that the crippled guard was coming down with an old sardar ji. I wished them and was about to leave when Sardar ji stopped me and asked about my whereabouts. I told him and asked him when had he come there . He told me that that was his first day and he lived in some surrounding village.  He told his children had left him forever. I had no words of consolation for him. The moisture in his eyes was dampening my spirits. I said bye to both and moved from there. All of a sudden the old Sardar ji blocked my way and stopped me from going and requested me to take him along. He said l was like his daughter and he wanted to live with me for the rest of his life. He asked me not to leave him there. He wouldn't bother me and live the way l would want him to live.The crippled man gestured me to move and said that now all of them will leave that old age home one by one on four shoulders. I  just paced up and couldn't dare to turn back. I wondered at the hypocrisy of those who would talk of the  responsibility of the children abroad while were oblivious to what was happening right under their noses.  While urban lndia was considered feelingless such people needed to keep a watchful eyes at the corroding value system in the rural lndia and suburbs as well. I wish one day l get to render my services at an old age home.

A silent prayer goes for the  old people in that old age home that their remaining years should be peaceful.