Kurukshetra Junction

Month of March, as always brought a back breaking workload to be accomplished. Being a fortunate educator in one of the most famous schools in the city March meant month of home exams, CBSE exams, evaluation of non- board and board exam answersheets. From day break till late at night papers evaluation first of IX Class and then mentally and physically gearing up for taking up the CBSE work kept me and all other teachers occupied. Life on the whole round the clock was about rushing and running from dawn to dusk and even till late. This is the month when all colleagues enjoyed a couple of hours sitting together in their particular staff rooms which was otherwise not possible during the regular classes due to the respective time tables of all.

At home also l found that the clock would move a bit too faster. Waking up to the call of my daughter from Ottawa at 6 or 7 in the morning, rushing to the workplace , in the afternoon between 2 to 3 talking for a couple of minutes with my son in British Columbia and reaching back home in the evening at around 5, in between at intervals and during evenings connecting with my own soul my very being, life was in all an ecstatic ride. The fact that 2022 had been emotionally a very tough year since within the short span of ten months both of my children had taken the flight to Canada for setting new milestones in their particular lives was a painful experience. But the pain would subside when l heard their voice everyday multiple times.That's what l had felt until the previous Tuesday when once l retreated to my shelter from 9 to 5 job. I was having constant  sleepless nights since a week or so due to no apparent reason. Tuesday, in particular had left me exhausted beyond the territory of words to be explained. Usually, l would avoid being in bedroom during evenings but due to a mild back ache and vertigo that day l decided to relax for an hour or so but l dozed off within a couple of minutes and woke up at around 9 when my husband returned from his work.

He insisted me to accompany him to a nearby place where he needed to urgently handover a few papers. I was  reluctant to budge from home but when he said that for kids he wished to visit Hanuman Ji the Savior's temple l got up to move. The person to whom my hubby had to handover the papers lived near the Kurukshetra Railway station. After accomplishing his task he parked his bike outside a house near the Kurukshetra Junction. He intended to visit  the Hanuman ji temple on the otherside of the railway station. Therefore, he informed me that we had to cross the station for the purpose. 

The moment l entered the junction and was supposed to climb the stairs of the overbridge of the station which had multiple stairs to reach different platforms, my heart began to tremble, with every step l climbed up tears welled up in my eyes. Hiding my tears while being all ears to the whistling sounds of trains , important routine announcements of railways, hawkers' loud cries to sell their stuff and passengers gleefully talking and walking to and fro l moved up. The tempest raging within my soul soon became beyond my endurance.  The random tears that had made way in my eyes took no time in transforming into a diluge. My husband suddenly realizing that the people around had got attentive towards us turned to look at me in order to find the reason. He could  immediately sense what was happening and handed over his handkerchief to me.  He held my hand tightly assuring me with his smiles and repented over his decision to get me on the railway station. Soon people around began to point eachother when my sobs turned a little louder. Finally the moment came when we were supposed to climb down on the other side of the station where a passenger train was waiting to go off. Climbing down was equally painful.  My husband tried to distract me by asking me if l wanted to eat something. One after the other he offered to buy all my favorites but my sad mood was converting from sadder to the saddest.Noticing three police officials on the platform he pleaded with me to control myself since he feared that they would enquire about the reason behind my tears. Comprehending his predicament l ventured to wipe my constantly flowing tears.But, all my efforts failed. Instinctively l sat on a bench that felt more than an acquaintance. Near the track a family was waiting for their train. Two small kids were enjoying around oblivious to the world around. After almost five minutes we got up and reached our destination. In front of the huge mighty idol of Hanuman ji my tears made way back. The old priest gestured towards my husband and enquired about the reason and just smiled towards me.

Once out of the temple my husband forced me inside a bakery which was once our most frequented place and purchased different kinds of coconut flavoured cookies which are my favorite and had always been last on his list of preference. In any way he intended to make me smile.  His handkerchief turned black from white due to the kohl of my eyes. Journey back home meant again getting back on the Kurukshetra Junction. He requested me to calm down and again held my hand but once back on the station l retreated back in the same gloomy state. I sat on the same bench when a tea vendor approached us and questioned why we had come there after such a long gap. It took us a few minutes to recognize him. He questioned about our well being and about my kids the topic l wanted to avoid. His bread pakoras were relished by my kids. My hubby got up and took him aside while my eyes fell back on the same family with two small kids.

I became nostalgic of the times when around 17 years back on almost every Sunday morning we two with my three years old son and one and half years old daughter visited Kurukshetra Junction.  For an hour or two both of them would play on the platform with their father, enjoy pakoras, juices of their choice and whatever chit bit attracted them. Arrival of a train would always scare me and l would chide and guide them to step back fearing that they would fall on tracks. At the same time l would get alarmed whenever any body moving around would pay attention to them. I would always fear that someone would steal my cute children. Both of them attracted attention of the passers-by with their cute looks and sweet prattle. My focus would be entirely on them . I would bind them in my gaze. My retorts if they moved a little bit away would be ignored entirely because they would act there as only papa's babies who would rejoice their ventures. He would rather retort me that l should let them free, that they should be taught to trip and stand on their own. He would reprimand and would always ask me to let children be observant, to let them study their surroundings and to let them sense any potent danger around. Father and kids would enjoy to the core till years altogether until the kids entered eighth and ninth standard. At that time l hadn't realized that one day l would yearn for those bright sunny days of my children's childhood days. Once the tea vendor went away after getting to know about my little ones, looking at their pics on my husband's phone and showering blessings on them he returned to me and insisted me to change my mood and step out of that station. 

Standing in the middle of the staircase l saw two trains simultaneously heading in opposite directions. Their movement was first slow then they took up the speed and were out of the station.  The platform seemed deserted. I realized that every parent is like a platform and kids are trains which have to leave for their respective stations and that the desolate platform would surely become lively the other day or when at intervals the trains would return but the fact that the trains would keep coming and going can't be changed ever. As a parent we need to understand that if the train of our kids' life would stay at our end i.e.the Platform of their lives then they can never grow. There would be rust and life of kids would corrode which as a mom is not at all acceptable to me. May the speed and thrill in the lives of my kids stay forever and ever and we as parents should never be stumbling blocks or speed breakers on their path of success like our parents had never been for us.